This past month, unfortunately, I have been reminded that when you travel to a foreign country, you may not be surrounded by things that you love all of the time... and you may not always feel happy and comfortable. Many of you who know me well, know that I sure do love Spain. It's true! I had an amazing experience 3 years ago studying in Valencia, and I absolutely love Salamanca-- it is a beautiful city! And in both cities I have been lucky to make so many friends, who are so generous. But up until I arrived in Salamanca, I had definitely forgotten about the little things that really made me miss home the last time I was here. Especially the simple things... for instance, just fitting in... It has really started to bother me and I feel like I need to get it out...
Like I said before, I have gotten to know so many Spaniards who are so hospitable and so nice (essentially all of the people I have gotten to know so well and who have taken the time to get to know me) but unfortunately the other extreme definitely exists. Most of these "extremes" are people I come across on the street or in a store. In other words, they are "strangers."
For example: This past weekend, Brendan and I wanted to take a day trip to a nearby city called Zamora. At the bus station, when we went up to the ticket window I asked for one ticket to Zamora for 11:00am and to return at 7:00pm. Unfortunately, I didn't know that when you take a bus to Zamora, you can only buy your ticket one-way... and he informed me of that with such a rude tone. I said, "okay" then just the ticket for 11:00am. The price was 4.45 euros so I handed him a 5 euro bill and he rolled his eyes at me as if that was ridiculous said, "You don't have exact change?" It was so embarrassing because there were people behind us and he made me feel so stupid!
Another example: Yesterday after I had lunch, I came across a small store selling fruit. The apples looked good, so I decided to go in and buy one. The older man running the store approached me very nicely but when I said I wanted to buy "one apple" he started complaining about how absurd it was that I only wanted to buy one! As he was weighing I asked very politely if I could have a bag for it, and he actually started to swear at me and told me to get out of the store! I couldn't believe it!! Obviously, I will never go back there again... I can't even describe how awful I felt after that happened. Before I walked into the store I knew I wanted to go to the library to study after that, but I found it very hard to concentrate. All I could do was keep replaying the scene over and over again in my head.
Any time something like that happens to me I can't help but think: What was it that made them act so mean/grumpy/rude?? And I can't help but wonder: Did they act rudely because of something I did, or said, or the way I said it, or just because of the way I look (blonde hair, blue eyes)? In the beginning of my stay here in Spain I often tried to tell myself, "Well, maybe they were just having a bad day..." but can that many people be having a bad day!? I don't think so!!
In this past month I have come to realize that being a "foreigner" is one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience in my life. There is nothing worse than feeling like you don't fit in... like people don't want you to be where you are... Luckily I don't feel this way all of the time, but it is those few times in the street, or in the store or at bus station that really hit hard... it is a memory that is very hard to forget.
In conclusion, one of the main thoughts I have had out of these experiences is that I personally would never want to make anyone else feel that way. So, it is my goal after these next 8 months when I go home, when I am no longer the "foreigner," to keep these experiences that I have had in mind. We all know that the United States is one of the most diverse countries there is, and that it is made up of people from almost every shore of the world. We are diverse, and with diversity, many times, comes misunderstanding and intolerance. But I am urging everyone to have more patience for this diversity and to try to be more accepting of the differences that we come across each day. When you are not the foreigner, it's not hard to take for granted how easy it is to go about your life from day to day... but if you have ever felt like a "foreigner", there is truly nothing worse. For my sake, and for the sake of anyone else who is feeling like an outsider, too, please keep my thoughts in mind.
It is hard to be an outsider. I agree that we should take this to heart when we are back in our "home" countries. I believe that supporters of recent political movements in the US in places like Arizona and Alabama which target "foreign looking or sounding" people are largely comprised of those who have never have the opportunity to learn this (painful) lesson themselves through international travel. I'm happy to see that Rotary International supports these exchanges to promote intercultural understanding, and that you were brave enough to serve as their representative.
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